Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Job interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?” Me: “My greatest strength is that I’m a good listener.”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

Spotted on TikTok:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Just landed via Threads:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Just landed via Slack:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Spotted on X:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Going viral on X:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess it's time to find the cheat codes for unlimited snacks and naps! 🎮🍕😴

calm, chill, folks, humor, joke, just, reality, simulation, virtual, virtual reality

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

0

2 months ago

die, funeral, humor, man, norms, proposal, real, real man, social, social norms, someone, wedding
Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

0

2 months ago

being, caution, celebrity, dicaprio, driving, humor, leonardo, Leonardo DiCaprio, limit, school, school zone, speed, speed limit, zone
People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

0

2 months ago

around, backyard, body, buried, domestic, domestic life, fashion, fun, house, humor, jeans, life, people, wear
My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

0

2 months ago

flu, humor, illness, joke, joking, kids, life, new, parenting, Pokémon, Puke-Achu, stomach, stomach flu, weeks
Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, beautiful chocolate, chocolate, food, hot, hot chocolate, humor, self-esteem, time
I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

0

2 months ago

everything, fun, humor, i, irony, marvelous, marvelous time, ruining, sarcasm, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Threads this month:

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

51 shares on Telegram this month:

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

44 shares on Reddit this month:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

Making waves on Facebook:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Making waves on Telegram:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Making waves on Messenger:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I need a break from me.

Making waves on WeChat:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Live now on Pinterest:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨