Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,416

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Just landed via X:

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Just landed via Snapchat:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Making waves on Instagram:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

Just landed via WeChat:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Chuck Norris doesn't make fires, fires make Chuck Norris 🔥🔥💪#ChuckNorrisFacts

chuck, Chuck Norris, comedy, fire, humor, joke, norris, piece, rub, strength, together, toughness, wood

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

0

2 months ago

carefully, humor, items, line, never, people, scan, self-checkout, shopping, stealing, understand
I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

0

2 months ago

ever, every, forget, fridge, humor, i, irony, life, life observation, me, memory, observation, remember, time, wrong, wronged
Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

0

2 months ago

25, friend, friends, funny situation, granite, granite orb, hiding, mess, mess up, minimalist, orb, party, situation, surprise, surprise party, unexpected, us
My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

0

2 months ago

chaos, destroying, dressed, fashion, getting, getting dressed, humor, i, mess, room, time, toxic, toxic trait, trait
Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

0

2 months ago

attire, day, every, fitness, humor, joke, just, personal, personal trainer, shorts, trainer, want, wear, work, workplace
Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

0

2 months ago

again, allergy, friend, hello, humor, nose, old, pollen, running, sneeze, spring

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Discord this month:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

73 shares on Discord this month:

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

Just shared via Threads:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Shared recently on Messenger:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Breaking via Instagram:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Making waves on Reddit:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Just shared via YouTube:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.

Spotted on Slack:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨