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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,755

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Just landed via X:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Just shared via Instagram:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

Going viral on WeChat:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Chuck Norris doesn't make fires, fires make Chuck Norris 🔥🔥💪#ChuckNorrisFacts

chuck, Chuck Norris, comedy, fire, humor, joke, norris, piece, rub, strength, together, toughness, wood

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

1 month ago
days, humor, i, internet, kids, nostalgia, olden, olden days, parenting, scream, spooky, spooky story, story, technology, used, wanted
So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

2 months ago
$10, 000, disappointment, expectation, frustration, humor, looking, money, tired, wallet
I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

1 month ago
bend, day, humor, i, man, me, over, relationship, sad, sadness, single, sundress
Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

1 month ago
activity, dollars, gambling, getting, humor, money, nothing, risk, something, something for nothing, spending, trying
Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

2 months ago
days, dead, disappear, humor, i, Jesus, pretend, resurrection, sarcasm, think, trouble, whenever, wit
His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

1 month ago
awkward, communication, courtroom, hands, honor, humor, joke, me, speech, stop, talking

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

Breaking via Instagram:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Making waves on Messenger:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Spotted on Threads:

The week be like Mooonnnday, Tueeesday, Weeeeednesday, Thuuuuursday, FriSatSun

Shared recently on X:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

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Activity Log ✨

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

I never had a year with this much thinking. I’ve been thinking since the 1st.

Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Nosferatu 2024, Frankenstein 2025, and Werwulf 2026. I was born at exactly the right time.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Windmill? Big fan.

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

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Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏