Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

My lips could use some attention today.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,677

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

Going viral on WeChat:

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Just landed via Messenger:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Trending via Slack:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Making waves on TikTok:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Just landed via Facebook:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

Seen just now on Slack:

I need to move to New York and be miserable. I think it’d be so good for me.

Making waves on TikTok:

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

Live now on Pinterest:

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

0
Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Finding an Airfryer in your kid's room is just part of their "creative decluttering strategy" 😂🔍🍟

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Messenger this month:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

22 shares on Telegram this month:

Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

45 shares on X this month:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

84 shares on Threads this month:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,288

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

It’s kinda weird that in order to go to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Going viral on YouTube:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Going viral on Slack:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

Just shared via X:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Going viral on Slack:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴