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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Jesus invited prostitutes to dinner and was praised for compassion. I do it, and suddenly I ‘made Christmas awkward.’

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Tested positive for being single af

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,322

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Trending via Threads:

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

Just shared via YouTube:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

Making waves on Reddit:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

Spotted on X:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

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College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.
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Commentary:
"College life: mastering the art of 'self-taught with a side of tuition fees' 💸🎓📚"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

Eating watermelon and minding my own business.

26 shares on Slack this month:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

57 shares on X this month:

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

15 shares on X this month:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

I told ChatGPT about us.

85 shares on Discord this month:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,546

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Live now on YouTube:

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Live now on Snapchat:

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

Going viral on Reddit:

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Going bananas on Twitch:

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

Seen just now on YouTube:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

Trending via Snapchat:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

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