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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m late. I was pumping up the jam.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

“Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

As a childless adult, it is my duty to embrace hobbies and pastimes that my peers cannot, as they have sacrificed their free time to maintain the population. I must vibe and chill, and do fun things, in their honor.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,462

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Making waves on TikTok:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Spotted on Facebook:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Making waves on Facebook:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Spotted on Telegram:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

Just shared via Messenger:

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

Just shared via Messenger:

A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

16 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous comment about a friend’s family outing with witty sarcasm.

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Commentary:
When your friend treats a family outing like a celebrity scandal 🎤💔😂

commenting, family, friend, humiliation, humiliation ritual, humor, media, pic, picture, ritual, social, social media

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81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making all of the food that is unhealthy for you taste so good.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

77 shares on TikTok this month:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

53 shares on Discord this month:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

10 shares on X this month:

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

The person who invented bowling: “Oh, and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. Clown shoes.”

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

They’re uploading my consciousness into a disposable vape.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

Trending via Twitch:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Just shared via Instagram:

I wonder whatever happened to the tiny dogs all of those terrible women were carrying around in their purses.

Breaking via Slack:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Fries, not lies.

Trending via WhatsApp:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Seen just now on Reddit:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Trending via Discord:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

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Activity Log ✨

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

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Trending Topics 📁

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