Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,936

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Live now on Pinterest:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you realize even AI is scoring better on the relationship front 🤖💘

AI, commenting, couple, couples, happy, happy couple, humor, media, picture, pictures, social, social media

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

0

3 weeks ago

common, death, definition, die, disappointed, disappointment, history, humor, i, just, language, misunderstanding, search, search history, sure, through, using, word, words
Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

0

2 months ago

adventure, Australia, game, humor, Jumanji, landscape, nature, play, still, wildlife
My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

0

2 months ago

ago, delete, full, guess, humor, i, memory, phone, procrastination, second, spiderweb, storage, time, video, year’s
God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

0

2 months ago

animals, cat, eat, flakes, food, frosted, Frosted Flakes, God, going, humor, invention, likes, okay, tiger
Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

0

2 months ago

across, activity, creative, creative activity, decorated, decorated house, decoration, enjoy, fun, handiwork, holiday, holiday spirit, home, home decoration, house, i, neighborly, neighborly fun, spirit, street, view, window, window view
I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

0

2 months ago

90s, culture, debt, finance, humor, late, late 90s, nostalgia, pop, pop culture, ringtone, still, technology, trying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

40 shares on X this month:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Spotted on WeChat:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Seen just now on Telegram:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

Trending via Telegram:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Seen just now on Slack:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Breaking via TikTok:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

Going viral on Facebook:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨