Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Does anyone know where I can find true love?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,288

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Live now on Telegram:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Just shared via Discord:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Going bananas on TikTok:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Live now on X:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to use common sense in today's world is like bringing a calculator to a sword fight 🤔🔍😅

common, common sense, deal, dealing, dealing with people, everyone, gift, humor, people, punishment, sarcasm, sense

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

0

2 months ago

confidence, grammar, humor, language, punctuation, semicolons, writing
I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

0

2 months ago

bowel, health, humor, i, irritable, relatable, syndrome, too
Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

0

2 months ago

california, driving, dude, feel, gesture, humor, making, me, memory, nostalgia, nostalgic, rage, road, road rage, rude, rude gesture, shout, thank, traffic
Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

0

2 months ago

diet, ever, finance, food, humor, i, money, satire, spending, spent, toilet, waste
An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

0

2 months ago

adult, humor, ibuprofen, life, life skills, medicine, organization, pain, pain relief, person, place, relief, skills
I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

0

2 months ago

attention, humor, ignore, influencer, me, media, online, people, sarcasm, satire, social, social media

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Reddit this month:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

24 shares on X this month:

You have a bucket list, I have my head in a bucket, we are not the same.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

59 shares on X this month:

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

All the clouds have come out to play today.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

Seen just now on X:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

Just landed via Discord:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Shared recently on Slack:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Making waves on Facebook:

Work is the worst video game ever.

Breaking via Reddit:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Just landed via Messenger:

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The future is buffering.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨