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Croutons: the crunchy, carb-filled apologies of the salad world. 🥗🍞 Next time you're eating a salad, remember that those little cubes of bread are there to make up for the absence of fries. 😉

apology, consolation, crouton, feel, food, humor, salad, sorry, toast

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

1 month ago

delivery, email, emails, excitement, favorite, notification, ones, order, say, shipment, shopping
“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

1 month ago

adult, argument, conflict, fighting, internet, maybe, online, online conflict, people, stop, time
Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

1 month ago

badass, confidence, doorbell, humor, reality, rings, social, surprise
Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

1 month ago

app, bruise, came, health, humor, idea, invention, mystery, technology, where
Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

1 month ago

anytime, around, care, confidence, day, deodorant, following, humor, i, me, personal, personal care, scent, sexy, stranger, switch
This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

2 months ago

bathroom, big, exaggeration, fear, funny story, glass, humor, last, me, night, phobia, postcard, put, spider, story, time

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Going viral on Threads:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Just shared via Reddit:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Just landed via Telegram:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Seen just now on WeChat:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

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Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Onion rings? I’m answering.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

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Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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