Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Can’t be sexting when you’re somewhat articulate. You just sound like a vampire.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,567

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Shared recently on Slack:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Breaking via Threads:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Just landed via Twitch:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Spotted on Slack:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Making waves on WeChat:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Trending via Facebook:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Going bananas on YouTube:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Just shared via Slack:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Just shared via TikTok:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Finally, a way to find someone who won't judge me for sprinting through terminals like it's an Olympic sport! 🏃‍♂️😂✈️"

airport, airport timing, app, arrival, dating, dating app, humor, risk, risk tolerance, timing, tolerance, travel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

0

2 months ago

academic, article, claims, cool, ever, found, humor, irony, joke, perfectly, research, scholarly, sex, topic
Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

0

2 months ago

bathroom, bathroom break, break, company, company time, humor, office, office supply, procrastination, steal, supply, take, theft, time, why, work, work humor, workplace, workplace humor
I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, leisure, observation, outdoor, outdoors, outside, put, scenery, stuff, walk
Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

0

3 months ago

class, depression, ever, gone, i, just, regret, relatable, school, skip, skip class, student
I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

0

5 months ago

ask, conversation, excuse, got, honesty, humor, i, interaction, lying, media, outside, people, social, social interaction, social media, telling
I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

0

2 months ago

actually, awareness, going, humor, i, know, knowledge, people, preference

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Facebook this month:

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

41 shares on Discord this month:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

40 shares on Messenger this month:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

15 shares on X this month:

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

69 shares on X this month:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

What pushes you to watch 19 seasons of people in a hospital?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Trending via Slack:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Just landed via YouTube:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Spotted on Threads:

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

Shared recently on Messenger:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Trending via Snapchat:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Just landed via WeChat:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I love how my brain is like, “We’re not going to think about that,” and then thinks about only that.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨