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Commentary:
Guess this post will probably end up in the inbox of approximately 2 telepaths, a dog with a highly unusual stare, and my Aunt Susan who thinks WiFi is magic 🐶✨👩‍🦳📡

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Banana boats are powered by bananas. Everyone knows this.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, banana, boat, everyone, fruit, humor, joke, powered, sailing
If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

0

2 months ago

colonoscopy, done, healthcare, hope, humor, i, next, plumber, politician, politics, satire, someone, surgery, voted, voting
I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

0

2 months ago

break, humor, i, irony, leisure, need, relaxation, time, time off, vacation, work, year
Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

0

2 months ago

activity, bite, call, dirt, dirty, fun, fun activity, gardener, insect, insect bite, only, outdoor, outdoor activity, outside, people, relaxing, sunburn, sweat, sweaty
Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

0

2 months ago

celebration, Christmas, congratulation, decoration, festive, holiday, humor, people, procrastination
Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

0

2 weeks ago

commenting, family, friend, humiliation, humiliation ritual, humor, media, pic, picture, ritual, social, social media

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on YouTube this month:

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

31 shares on Slack this month:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

Thanksgiving and Christmas should be six months apart. Absurd to see those people again so soon. Insane.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

My middle finger salutes you.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

22 shares on Discord this month:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

32 shares on TikTok this month:

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Netflix & by yourself.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Spotted on Telegram:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Going viral on TikTok:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Trending via Pinterest:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Broadcasted on X:

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

Making waves on Facebook:

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Banana boats are powered by bananas. Everyone knows this.

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨