Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Dear God, thank you for the job, but just in case you're feeling extra generous… I'm here, waiting with open arms and a winning ticket 🙏🎉💸 #InGodWeTrustAndWin"

God, gratitude, humor, i, job, lottery, me, money, planned, prayer, ready, thank, thank you, win

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86 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being a writer means knowing exactly how your story ends, and having absolutely no idea how to get there.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

94 shares on Telegram this month:

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Just landed via X:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Going bananas on X:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

Just landed via Discord:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

Going bananas on Facebook:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Spotted on Messenger:

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨