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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Wait… if you’re circling back and I’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2414 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,576

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,576

14 minutes ago

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

Just shared via Messenger:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Just landed via Instagram:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Just shared via Instagram:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Spotted on X:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Going viral on Telegram:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Jan 26, 2025

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎅🏼 "Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff." 🤣 Looks like someone is mastering the art of independence and self-reliance! Who needs Santa when you've got your own shopping skills? 🛍️💁‍♂️ Just remember to treat yourself extra nice this holiday season – you deserve it! 😉✨

buy, Christmas, good, honesty, humor, list, mind, never, once, own, Santa, stuff, time, wish, wish list, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2414 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,576

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,576

14 minutes ago

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

Going viral on Discord:

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Trending via Facebook:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Seen just now on YouTube:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Trending via Threads:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

Spotted on X:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

Making waves on TikTok:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Just shared via Telegram:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

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