Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

My bra isn’t just padded — it’s also filled with cookie and chip crumbs.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,342

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Just landed via Telegram:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Trending via Messenger:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

Trending via Pinterest:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Making waves on Discord:

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

Making waves on Instagram:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

Deleting university to focus on Twitter.

22 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Priorities = tweeting my way to a PhD in memes 📚➡️🐦😂

deleting, deletion, education, focus, humor, media, procrastination, social, social media, student, Twitter, university

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

0

2 months ago

feel, fun, humor, i, life, matters, need, nihilism, nothing, philosophy
Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

0

2 months ago

anyone, confusion, humor, irony, know, point, pondering, question, quick, sarcasm, super
I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

0

2 months ago

attractive, confidence, humor, i, keep, me, mouth, nothing, quality, say, self-awareness, shut, think
If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

0

2 months ago

activity, company, entertainment, fear, fun, fun activity, horror, horror movie, isolation, lights, lonely, movie, put, solitude
Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

0

2 months ago

hr, humor, Needlenose, nickname, policy, workplace
Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

0

2 months ago

bad, democracy, fine, humor, irony, opinion, participation, people, politics, stupid, take, thing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Twitch this month:

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

30 shares on Messenger this month:

The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

59 shares on Threads this month:

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

12 shares on Slack this month:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Just shared via Snapchat:

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

Making waves on WeChat:

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Seen just now on Slack:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Deleting university to focus on Twitter.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨