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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,856

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Live now on Snapchat:

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Going viral on YouTube:

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Trending via TikTok:

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

Just shared via Threads:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Shared recently on Discord:

I hope this email kills us both.

Going bananas on YouTube:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Just call me a comedian with a PhD in 'laughology' 😂🤪🎭 #LaughterThroughThePain"

comedy, confidence, Funny, humor, know, much, resilience, self-deprecating, trauma

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

0

2 months ago

confusion, dating, humor, likes, me, mixed, mixed signals, relationship, signals, today
Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

0

3 weeks ago

before, driving, green, green light, hours, humor, i, light, marriage, me, patience, relationship, sit, stoplight, tell, waiting
The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

0

2 months ago

balcony, disgusting, humor, i, neighbor, person, polite, sarcasm, shout, sneeze
Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

0

2 months ago

able, avoidance, humor, maybe, Monday, procrastination, sit, still, stillness, us, weekend, work
Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

0

4 months ago

able, artist, call, compliment, enough, fan, great, humor, i, job, liking, music, music fan, need, song, tell
Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

0

2 months ago

art, humor, laziness, procrastination, relaxation, rest, tired

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Discord this month:

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

57 shares on Slack this month:

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

55 shares on X this month:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

19 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Nothing more humbling than being at a karaoke birthday party with a bunch of singers.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Making waves on Threads:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I need a massage for my brain.

Spotted on YouTube:

They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.

Just shared via Messenger:

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Just shared via Reddit:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Seen just now on Slack:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨