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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

824 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,986

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,986

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

Shared recently on Threads:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Trending via Discord:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

Trending via Pinterest:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Trending via Instagram:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Going viral on Telegram:

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

Spotted on YouTube:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Reported on Reddit:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's having a 'case of the Mondays'! 🤷‍♂️🖥️ Don't worry, I'm pretty sure the password is 'password123' and as for your job… just press random buttons and hope for the best! 😂 #MondayStruggles"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

824 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,986

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,986

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Just shared via X:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Reported on Reddit:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Making waves on X:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Making waves on Facebook:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Shared recently on Discord:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

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