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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,613

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

Live now on Pinterest:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Breaking via TikTok:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Spotted on Facebook:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Breaking via Reddit:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

Just shared via Facebook:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Shared recently on Threads:

People who don’t have a dishwasher, where do they bang their shins?

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

2 months ago

0

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

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Commentary:
"Remember, a job interview is like a first date – except you're trying to figure out if this person can handle Excel spreadsheets 📊 as well as romantic candlelit dinners! Asking questions is key – who knows, they might even surprise you with their secret talent for office karaoke 🎤 #InterviewTactics"

advice, afraid, ask, ask questions, best, candidate, communication, find out, good, good candidate, humor, interview, job, job interview, person, questions, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I drive like I’m immortal.

0

6 months ago

drive, driving, humor, i, immortality, reckless, reckless driving
I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

0

2 months ago

25, 30, basketball, commercial, commercials, delay, excitement, exciting, foul, game, humor, last, minutes, ready, seconds, sports, stretch, time-out
This world is extremely kind to men, so I am not.

0

2 weeks ago

am, attitude, humor, i, irony, kind, kindness, man, men, world
Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

0

2 months ago

celine, Celine Dion, dion, fact, farm, fun, fun fact, humor, lyrics, mcdonald, name, old, Old McDonald, vowels
Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

0

4 months ago

attitude, explaining, explanation, humor, judge, judgment, just, laziness, me, much, myself, too, work
Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

0

2 months ago

ago, clark, Clark Kent, hours, humor, jawline, just, kent, kiss, lane, lois, Lois Lane, relationship, romance, said, same, spandex, superhero

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Slack this month:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

72 shares on Instagram this month:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,296

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Spotted on Discord:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Shared recently on WeChat:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Just shared via X:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Just shared via TikTok:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Just landed via Reddit:

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

Shared recently on Threads:

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

Trending via Twitch:

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

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