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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I miss when YouTubers would just record for, like, 20 minutes, and upload the whole thing completely unedited.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,622

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Trending via Twitch:

I need to drink less water. This peeing situation is out of control.

Just shared via Discord:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Just shared via Instagram:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

Going viral on Threads:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

Seen just now on Slack:

You’ll never see Asian parents kissing, hugging, or in any form of romance, but boom, 5 children.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

Going bananas on X:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

2 weeks ago

Playful text encouraging interview questions to spot the right candidate with humor.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Remember, a job interview is like a first date – except you're trying to figure out if this person can handle Excel spreadsheets 📊 as well as romantic candlelit dinners! Asking questions is key – who knows, they might even surprise you with their secret talent for office karaoke 🎤 #InterviewTactics"

advice, afraid, ask, ask questions, best, candidate, communication, find out, good, good candidate, humor, interview, job, job interview, person, questions, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Telegram this month:

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

76 shares on X this month:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

98 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I told ChatGPT about us.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

25 folks are currently checking 👀

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,533

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Trending via Messenger:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Making waves on X:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Spotted on Telegram:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

Trending via YouTube:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

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