Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Parents, remember: what your kids claim to eat at someone else's house is like a mysterious buffet straight out of a fairy tale 🍭🍕🍔. Approach with caution and skepticism! 👀😄"

eat, family, food, fooled, house, humor, kids, parenting, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

0

4 months ago

1994, 6, aging, back, chin, chin hair, exaggeration, eyebrow, eyebrow hair, facial, facial hair, five, friends, friendship, growth, hair, hair growth, humor, never, pluck, single, time, today
Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, birth, born, day, health, humor, i, life, regret, turning, ulcers
Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

0

2 months ago

comedy, convenience, cooking, food, humor, jump, recipe, technology, teleportation, thing
Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

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2 months ago

activity, behavior, big, big day, cat, Christmas, Christmas tree, day, decoration, fun, fun activity, holiday, pet, pet behavior, today, tree
I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

0

2 months ago

cabinet, humor, i, insomnia, joke, medicine, medicine cabinet, pill, silence, sleeping, sleeping pill, tiptoe, wake, want
Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

0

2 months ago

attitude, humor, hydrated, hydration, just, kill, laugh, let, little, motivation, much, people, positivity, reminder, self-care, stay, vibe

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Telegram this month:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

86 shares on Discord this month:

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Praying to God with a Chinese accent, and he is cracking up.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Trending via Reddit:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

Freshly posted on Threads:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

Seen just now on Discord:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Just landed via Messenger:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Going viral on Threads:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨