Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,628

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I celebrate 4/20 on 1/5 because I know how to reduce fractions.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Live now on Snapchat:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Spreading quickly via Threads:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

Going viral on Slack:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

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Commentary:
Looks like the drink just enhanced your inner superhero powers of idiocy! 🍸🦸‍♂️🙃

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on X this month:

I can’t believe we live in the timeline where we invented a technology to make it so we can never trust a photo or video again.

18 shares on Discord this month:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

49 shares on Twitch this month:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

20 shares on X this month:

Asking the cashier how I’m doing today.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

33 shares on Slack this month:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

42 shares on Threads this month:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Just found out that rock bottom has a basement.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,624

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

You honestly gotta believe in yourself so much that it’s borderline delusional.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Going viral on Reddit:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Spotted on Messenger:

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

Seen just now on Discord:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

Live now on Twitch:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Just landed via Slack:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

Freshly posted on Discord:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

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