Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,274

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Breaking via Twitch:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Just shared via X:

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

Just landed via Slack:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Just shared via Discord:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Going viral on Telegram:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the drink just enhanced your inner superhero powers of idiocy! 🍸🦸‍♂️🙃

alcohol, before, blame, drinking, humor, idiot, started

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

0

2 months ago

cigarette, history, humor, opinion, smell, smells, worst
For Halloween, you should be mine.

0

2 months ago

flirtation, Halloween, holiday, love, mine, pun, romantic, should
God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

0

2 months ago

conversation, God, humor, i, powerful, self-awareness, skills
As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

0

4 months ago

avoid, avoid work, avoidance, going, humor, only, procrastination, relief, stress, stress relief, work, work avoidance, work stress
We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

0

2 months ago

beavis, butthead, humor, ignore, name, shock, shocked, strangeness, wordplay
I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

0

2 months ago

cooking, family, food, hear, holiday, humor, i, moist, overcook, say, table, turkey

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

Life is weird and then you die.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

I would rather lose you than the argument.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

46 shares on Threads this month:

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

Going bananas on Instagram:

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Trending via Threads:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Just landed via Reddit:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Just landed via YouTube:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

For Halloween, you should be mine.

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨