Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.
  • Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.
  • There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.
  • I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.
  • To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.
  • Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.