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"Who needs a red flag when you can command the whole red carpet with sass and style! 💃🏼✨ Strut your stuff, darling, you're the star of the show! 🌟 #RedCarpetReady"

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Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

1 month ago
caffeine, chair, coffee, drinking, frowned, frowned upon, frustration, humor, people, relief, stress, stress relief, throwing, throwing chair, upon
Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

3 months ago
30s, 50s, ache, age, aging, complaint, everyone, good, humor, laugh, middle, middle age, moan, moaning, pain, welcome
So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

1 month ago
ache, bed, excited, exhausted, exhaustion, humor, life, sarcasm, sleep, tiredness, wake, worst
To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

1 month ago
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If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

2 months ago
attraction, attractive, eat, humor, i, joke, magnet, playful, question
A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

1 month ago
alcohol, area, bar, beer, developer, drink, drinking, drinks, expert, humor, nightclub, nightlife, place, place to drink, places, pub, seo, SEO expert, tavern, walk, web, web developer

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

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By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

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That stupid look on my face is my face.

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Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

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If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

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Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

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Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

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Broadcasted on Reddit:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Shared recently on Telegram:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Making waves on Telegram:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

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Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

Nothing is funnier than seeing how angry someone gets when they realize they can’t manipulate you.

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

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Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

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