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Commentary:
"Who needs a red flag when you can command the whole red carpet with sass and style! 💃🏼✨ Strut your stuff, darling, you're the star of the show! 🌟 #RedCarpetReady"

advice, baby, carpet, confidence, empowerment, flag, humor, let, red, red carpet, red flag, relationship, relationship advice, self-worth, treat, whole

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

0

2 months ago

dessert, eating, food, good, humor, joke, math, Pi, pun, solving
Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

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1 month ago

dating, humor, love, lover, lovers, real, relationship, single
I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

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2 months ago

always, blame, humor, i, just, kids, learn, learning, mistakes, okay, parenting, people, responsibility, tell
I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

0

2 months ago

account, am, create, create account, frustration, humor, i, online, technology, tyranny, under
Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

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5 months ago

anxiety, big, boundary, causing, coming, cortisol, home, house, humor, mood, stress, wellness
Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

0

2 months ago

allergy, breath, exercise, fitness, heart, humor, i, irony, once, racing, sweating

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on X this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

75 shares on Slack this month:

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

46 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

70 shares on Messenger this month:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

Spotted on Slack:

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

Shared recently on Threads:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Breaking via Messenger:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Breaking via Slack:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.

Shared recently on Slack:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨