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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,639

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Trending via Twitch:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

Just landed via Twitch:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Spotted on WeChat:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

Spotted on WeChat:

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Spotted on Discord:

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Seen just now on Slack:

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

Breaking via Discord:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

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Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Hope your WiFi connection doesn't go down with the ship! 🚢🎶⚓️ #SyncingTheHits"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on WeChat this month:

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

76 shares on Threads this month:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

31 shares on Discord this month:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

19 shares on Threads this month:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

14 shares on X this month:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

72 shares on Threads this month:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,522

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Live now on WeChat:

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Just landed via Discord:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

Going viral on Instagram:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

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