Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,496

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Just shared via YouTube:

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

Just landed via Reddit:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Live now on Facebook:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

Just shared via Telegram:

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Live now on X:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Going viral on Threads:

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Hope your WiFi connection doesn't go down with the ship! 🚢🎶⚓️ #SyncingTheHits"

activity, downloading, fun, fun activity, humor, irony, music, right, soundtrack, syncing, technology, Titanic

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

0

3 months ago

crime, documentary, entertainment, humor, i, news, put, relax, relaxation, sometimes, true, true crime, turn
I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

0

3 months ago

growth, humor, motivation, much, personal, personal growth, progress, self-deprecating, work, work in progress
I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

0

4 months ago

12, 5, am, early, early morning, i, love, midnight, morning, night, peace, quiet, solitude, world
White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

0

2 months ago

cautionary, cautionary tale, humor, lotus, taking, tale, time, time off, vacation, white, White Lotus, work
Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you make too much money.

0

4 weeks ago

addiction, cocaine, drug, gods, humor, money, much, telling, too, wealth
Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

0

2 months ago

crumbled, crumbled paper, desk, humor, i, know, messy, messy desk, need, paper, piece, procrastination, relatable, school, table, teen, teens, week

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Messenger this month:

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

71 shares on Slack this month:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

79 shares on Discord this month:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

71 shares on Messenger this month:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Spotted on Threads:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Going viral on Reddit:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

Just shared via Instagram:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you make too much money.

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨