Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Of all the things to lose, why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.