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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I only drink when I people.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2267 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,429

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,429

2 hours ago

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

I took the road less traveled. Where am I?

Breaking via Messenger:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

Just shared via Facebook:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Shared recently on Threads:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Just landed via Slack:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

Just shared via Snapchat:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

Live now on Pinterest:

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Going viral on Telegram:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

4 months ago

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

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Commentary:
"Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?” 🤷‍♂️ Well, at least you're staying humble and embracing that post-academic existential crisis with a touch of humor! Who needs recognition and validation anyway, right? 😂📚 #ThesisDrama"

academic, ending, humor, i, opinion, paper, procrastination, sarcasm, thesis, think, writing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2267 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,429

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,429

2 hours ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Reported on WeChat:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Spotted on Twitch:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

Shared recently on Discord:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Live now on Snapchat:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Making waves on Telegram:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

Spotted on YouTube:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Just shared via WeChat:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

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