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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,651

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Just landed via Twitch:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Trending via YouTube:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Going viral on Reddit:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Spotted on Threads:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

Making waves on YouTube:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Spotted on Slack:

If Britain is going to be invaded, can it at least be by the Romans? We desperately need the roads resurfacing.

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Witty quote about childhood dreams of leaving work early, playful and humorous in tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Work smarter, not harder… or just leave early! 😂💼 Don't worry, it's never too late to embrace your inner 'early leaver' dreams! 🕒👩‍💼 #WorkLifeBalanceGoals"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Messenger this month:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

76 shares on WeChat this month:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

35 shares on Discord this month:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

77 shares on Facebook this month:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I can resist everything except temptation.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s called single sign-on because you have to do it every single time.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent someone who holds me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,703

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Making waves on Threads:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

Making waves on YouTube:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Going viral on Threads:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Just landed via Slack:

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

Breaking via TikTok:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Going viral on Twitch:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

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