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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,745

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

Breaking via Discord:

Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

Trending via Twitch:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Seen just now on X:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

Trending via YouTube:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Shared recently on Threads:

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Running away from responsibilities: the only cardio routine that requires zero commitment! 🏃‍♂️💨🙃

day, escape, every, exercise, fitness, humor, leg, leg day, motivation, problem, problems, running

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

1 month ago
always, doing, getting, getting ready, hectic, hour, humor, management, me, minutes, nothing, preparation, procrastination, ready, rest, self-care, time, time management
That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

1 month ago
5pm, afternoon, humor, joke, nap, sleep, tiredness, urge
Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

1 month ago
clothing, disintegrate, fashion, humor, keep, know, maintenance, men
I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

1 month ago
birthday, birthday card, card, comparison, disappointment, humor, inside, money, person, self-deprecation
The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

2 months ago
alone, calm, crowd, inner, inner peace, interaction, peace, people, quiet, social, social interaction, solitude
I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

1 month ago
cleaning, cool, cool stuff, distraction, organization, procrastination, room, stuff

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

I’d rather lose you than the argument.

Making waves on TikTok:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

Breaking via Facebook:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Spotted on Telegram:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Trending via WeChat:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Going viral on Discord:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Just landed via Pinterest:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

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Activity Log ✨

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

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Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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