Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I am half agony, half hope.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,656

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

Going bananas on Threads:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Making waves on Instagram:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

Making waves on Threads:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

Making waves on Messenger:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Breaking via WeChat:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like we're all just one spreadsheet error away from becoming a math magician or a chemist! 🤹‍♂️🔬📊

8, cancer-causing, cancer-causing chemical, chemical, chemicals, every, excel, getting, hours, humor, job, microsoft, Microsoft Excel, office, sheet, staring, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

0

2 months ago

behavior, cashier, day, everyone, except, good, humor, morning, people, social, social behavior, talk
I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

0

2 months ago

5, 9, 9 to 5, eat, humor, i, lay, leisure, lifestyle, lizard, pasta, relaxation, sun
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

0

2 months ago

age, attitude, humor, issue, life, matter, mind, over, perspective, wisdom
I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

1

2 months ago

attractive, comparison, confidence, humor, perception, self-esteem
People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

0

2 months ago

attention, close, humor, Netflix, observation, people, series, sery, think, watching
The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

0

2 months ago

biome, bog-emerge, concept, doing, drive by, exist, humor, joke, people, rap, satire, swamp

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Messenger this month:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

35 shares on Discord this month:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

50 shares on Slack this month:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

48 shares on Threads this month:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

94 shares on Discord this month:

Salt is just angry sugar.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Later is the best time to do anything.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Spotted on Facebook:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Trending via Instagram:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Freshly posted on Threads:

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Just shared via Discord:

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

Going bananas on Threads:

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

Trending via Pinterest:

Anything can be a dating app if you aren’t a coward.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨