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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,948

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Seen just now on Facebook:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Making waves on Slack:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Just landed via Messenger:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Just landed via YouTube:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Spotted on TikTok:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
When she decorates your room like a vampire's crypt, suddenly you're no longer Team Edward 🧛‍♂️🖤😂

doing, everyone, expectation, girlfriend, goth, humor, personality, relationship, stereotype, things, wants

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

1 month ago
being, bills, carefree, dinosaur, drama, extinct, humor, imagine, just, simplicity, work
Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

1 month ago
addiction, bed, bedtime, digital, digital addiction, exhausted, exhaustion, fatigue, hours, humor, i, just, late, late night, next, night, phone, phone scrolling, procrastination, relatable, relaxation, scroll, scrolling, sometimes
The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

1 month ago
autobiography, going, growth, humor, ID, irony, learn, learning, lessons, life, life lessons, mistakes, personal, personal growth, self-reflection, think, title, titles
Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

2 months ago
90, confidence, delusion, humor, mindset, motivation, self-perception, work
Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

3 months ago
approach, doing, humor, me, method, nobody, originality, right, self-deprecation, unconventional, uniqueness
You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

1 month ago
care, confusing, confusion, humor, me, opinion, sarcasm, self-confidence, someone, think, wit

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Going viral on Reddit:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Just shared via WeChat:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Trending via WeChat:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Going bananas on X:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

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Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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