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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,700

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Making waves on X:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Just shared via Threads:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

Just landed via X:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Trending via Twitch:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Seen just now on Facebook:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Just landed via Telegram:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

Going viral on WeChat:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When she decorates your room like a vampire's crypt, suddenly you're no longer Team Edward 🧛‍♂️🖤😂

doing, everyone, expectation, girlfriend, goth, humor, personality, relationship, stereotype, things, wants

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

0

3 weeks ago

attraction, best, brand, city, city life, daily, daily life, dating, day, every, hot, hot woman, hottest, humor, life, literally, new, NYC, single, woman
Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

0

2 months ago

crazy, crazy thought, day, dicaprio, first day, future, future girlfriend, girlfriend, kindergarten, leonardo, Leonardo DiCaprio, nervous, thought
There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

0

2 months ago

activity, couple, date, fast, fast food, food, fun, fun activity, getting, humor, intimacy, lover, McDonald’s, romantic, something
Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

0

2 months ago

call, calls, distracting, everyone, finds, home, humor, office, outside, singing, video, video call, work, work from home, Zoom
Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

0

2 months ago

app, challenge, dating, difficulty, humor, level, love, online, online dating, option, relationship, search, searching, settings, turn
If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

0

2 months ago

brave, dating, else, feelings, love, relationship, someone, someone else, tell, watch

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Facebook this month:

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

66 shares on X this month:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

65 shares on Discord this month:

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Stop dating if you have no car.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Shared recently on Threads:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Seen just now on Slack:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

Just landed via Telegram:

I am single, please disturb me!

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Seen just now on Reddit:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨