Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,698

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Spotted on Slack:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Trending via Pinterest:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Going viral on YouTube:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Making waves on Pinterest:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Just landed via Slack:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Live now on Facebook:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Going bananas on Messenger:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When she decorates your room like a vampire's crypt, suddenly you're no longer Team Edward 🧛‍♂️🖤😂

doing, everyone, expectation, girlfriend, goth, humor, personality, relationship, stereotype, things, wants

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

0

5 months ago

dead, humor, joke, life, own, relationship, sex, sex life, tombstone
December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

0

1 week ago

beard, belief, Christmas, claus, December, everything, fat, fat man, fix, holiday, man, me, Santa, Santa Claus, someone
Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

0

2 months ago

consumerism, happiness, humor, irony, know, money, shopping
Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

0

2 months ago

alternate, chop, cry, human, humans, humor, know, onion, onions, universe, where
Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

0

2 months ago

before, chance, confidence, coworkers, dominance, humor, sarcasm, say, tired, work, workplace
If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

0

2 months ago

activity, alone, companionship, dim, dim lights, entertainment, fear, fun, fun activity, horror, horror movie, lights, lonely, movie, put

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Messenger this month:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

85 shares on Slack this month:

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Going viral on Threads:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

Shared recently on Slack:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Spotted on Reddit:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Just shared via X:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Spotted on Messenger:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

Just landed via Messenger:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨