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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,463

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

Going viral on Twitch:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Going viral on WeChat:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

Going viral on YouTube:

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

Seen just now on WeChat:

“Is there anything else I can assist you with today?” No, just that one thing you couldn’t assist me with, thanks.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Spotted on YouTube:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

Shared recently on Slack:

I like deadlines. They make me functional.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like it's time for a doughnut support group for neglected bagels 🍩🥯😅

anything, bagel, everyone, everything, expectation, food, humor, metaphor, need, needs, wants

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

0

2 months ago

butter, food, humans, humor, invention, person, understanding
Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

0

2 months ago

enthusiast, frustration, gun, house, humor, i, keep, next, noise, only, piece, printer, shoot, smart, smart house, tech, tech enthusiast, tech worker, technology, worker
After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

0

2 months ago

clarity, conclusion, deliberation, humor, introspection, overthinker, self-reflection, thinking
Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

0

5 months ago

actually, funnier, humor, identify, identity, joke, people, perception, personality, sarcasm, self, self-perception, wit
The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

0

2 months ago

follow, humor, irony, media, online, online safety, place, safety, social, social media, strangers, technology, web, wrong
I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

0

2 months ago

6am, 9pm, after, age, am, answered, humorous, i, late, late night, night, old, response, sleep, text

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

21 shares on Threads this month:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

96 shares on Discord this month:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

25 shares on Threads this month:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

Just landed via Twitch:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

Going viral on Telegram:

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Trending via Messenger:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨