Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

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You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

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Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

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The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

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Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.

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“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

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We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

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My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.