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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,364

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

Making waves on Facebook:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

Trending via YouTube:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Live now on YouTube:

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When my cat sits on my lap, it's not affection—it's a tiny fluffy takeover 🐱👑😼

behavior, cat, cats, domination, fact, humor, lap, pet, pet behavior, sit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

0

2 months ago

back, children, days, factory, factory settings, family, grandma, humor, parenting, reset, settings, stay, visit
One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

0

2 months ago

cooking, day, family, grandkids, humor, internet, nostalgia, recipe, scroll, technology, tell
Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

0

2 months ago

artificial, artificial intelligence, before, development, humor, intelligence, irony, natural, natural intelligence, should, technology
I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

0

2 months ago

am, awake, disappointed, disappointment, expectation, humor, i, irony, life, ready, reality
An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, dim, dim lights, exam, eye, eye exam, funny situation, lights, menu, moment, optometrist, read, situation, test, under, vision, vision test, where
When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

0

2 months ago

ask, attitude, back, frustration, give, humor, lemons, life, perspective, questions

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

27 shares on X this month:

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

57 shares on Threads this month:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

46 shares on X this month:

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Just landed via Messenger:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Just shared via Slack:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Breaking via Slack:

What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

Just shared via Facebook:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨