Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

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At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

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Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

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You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

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Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

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Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

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I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

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If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.