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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,398

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

Going bananas on TikTok:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Going bananas on Reddit:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Going viral on X:

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

Trending via Twitch:

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

Just landed via Telegram:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Going bananas on X:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Shared recently on Slack:

Spongebob never let anyone dull his whimsical spirit.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Life's plot twists: achieving that squeaky clean just to… backslide 😅🚿💩

after, bathroom, disappointment, having, hygiene, life, poop, right, shower, things

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

2 months ago

before, frustration, humor, Monday, never, repetition, weekday, workday
Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

2 months ago

activity, appreciate, fun, fun activity, humor, only, planking, social, social trend, time, trend
I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

2 months ago

2012, culture, end, ending, gangnam, Gangnam Style, gold, humor, i, internet, internet joke, joke, just, meme, pop, pop culture, Psy, reason, satire, saw, say, someone, style, TikTok, turned, world, world ending
It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

2 months ago

crazy, crazy person, fashion, hat, humor, just, people, person, ruined, satire, sucks, tinfoil, tinfoil hat, us
To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

3 months ago

again, apology, better, everyone, humor, i, improvement, next, offended, offense, sarcasm, year
When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

2 months ago

age, bartender, changes, counter, drinking, humor, i, know, life, life changes, me, name, pharmacist, recognition, walk, younger

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

34 shares on Threads this month:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

32 shares on Slack this month:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

96 shares on Slack this month:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

56 shares on Twitch this month:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

29 shares on Threads this month:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

My fridge turns into a food retirement home, as soon as I buy groceries.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Making waves on Instagram:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Just shared via TikTok:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Making waves on X:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Just shared via WeChat:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨