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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,847

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Going viral on Reddit:

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Going viral on Telegram:

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Going viral on X:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Seen just now on Discord:

A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Life's plot twists: achieving that squeaky clean just to… backslide 😅🚿💩

after, bathroom, disappointment, having, hygiene, life, poop, right, shower, things

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

1 month ago

away, being, donut, donuts, elephant, food, humor, joke, room, self-deprecation, weight
Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

1 month ago

accident, accidentally, back, clock, concert, fun, music, nostalgia, time, time travel, too, travel, turned, Wham
All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

2 months ago

back, blink, home, humor, i, life, routine, time, work
Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

1 month ago

adulthood, aging, bad, convince, eyesight, font, font size, going, humor, just, means, self-deception, size, small, too, trying, yourself
Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

4 months ago

always, bubble, clapping, experimental, experimental music, fun, fun sound, laughing, metallic, metallic noise, music, never, noise, noise music, noises, people, scary, scary sound, sound, sounds, stuff, why
I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

2 months ago

humor, joking, just, mean, people, perception, personality, sarcasm, think

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Aura is the real business card.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

Spotted on Pinterest:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Trending via WhatsApp:

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

Going bananas on WeChat:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Just shared via Threads:

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

Broadcasted on Threads:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

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Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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