Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

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Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

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Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

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Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

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Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

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Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

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I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

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A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.