Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,589

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

Just landed via Facebook:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Going viral on Threads:

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

Just landed via Telegram:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Going viral on Twitch:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds perfect! Just let me know if you need any extra pillows, blankets, or a coffee-making tutorial ☕🛌😂

bed, bring, coffee, cozy, date, date idea, first date, idea, me, morning, romantic, snuggle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

0

2 months ago

done, growth, humor, learn, magic, personal, personal growth, self-care, spells, time, transformation, witchcraft
If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

0

2 months ago

attitude, confidence, dance, dance move, doing, dropping, fun, hell, hot, humor, lifestyle, move, party
Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

0

5 months ago

break, cheese, focus, food, humor, relaxation, taking, thinking, time, time off
Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

0

2 months ago

after, days, entertainment, home, humor, leisure, love, relax, short-form, short-form video, video, videos, work
Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

0

2 months ago

activity, count, eating, fun, fun activity, hiking, humor, mix, outdoor, should, snack, trail, trail mix
Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, appliance, beep, feature, forever, kitchen, microwave, sound, timer

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Someone at work is gonna suggest you download Outlook and Teams on your phone, and it’s very important that you don’t listen to them.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Spotted on TikTok:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Breaking via Reddit:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Breaking via Pinterest:

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Making waves on Facebook:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Making waves on Discord:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Trending via Reddit:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

Spotted on YouTube:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨