Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,280

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

Spotted on Threads:

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

Seen just now on Threads:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Breaking via Facebook:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

Seen just now on Facebook:

About to form my very first opinion.

Just landed via TikTok:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

Making waves on Pinterest:

Hey girl, are you a cigarette? Because I like cigarettes.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Just shared via Slack:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When someone asks what I'm thinking, I try to summarize my internal chaos in a single emoji: 🌀😅

conversation, ever, every, flirting, humor, question, single, thing, thought

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

2 months ago

humor, landing, looking, love, me, much, people, plane, relationship, second, someone, standing, travel
At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

2 months ago

age, aging, big, big break, break, career, hip, humor, life, life transition, mean, perspective, transition, where
Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

5 months ago

block, blocking, communication, humor, life, love, media, people, relationship, sarcasm, short, social, social media, sooner, tell, truth
I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

2 months ago

am, books, buffet, food, good, hobby, humor, humor style, i, people, plants, self-deprecating, style
I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

3 months ago

addiction, caffeine, coffee, drink, humor, i, jittery, me, people, personality, picture
Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

1 month ago

anxiety, bed, going, laying, nervous, nervous system, sleeplessness, someone, stress, system, tension, war

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Telegram this month:

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

37 shares on X this month:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

85 shares on TikTok this month:

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

50 shares on Discord this month:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

14 shares on WeChat this month:

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I must retire to my chambers about this.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Hair is unwashed, so I obviously feel like I’m fundamentally unlovable.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Just shared via YouTube:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Trending via Twitch:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Making waves on X:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Breaking via Slack:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Making waves on Reddit:

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

Going bananas on Slack:

My favorite color is sunshine.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨