Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” My dear, that entirely depends on the rest of the information you’re about to give me.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,236

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

Tuesday is no better than Monday.

Spotted on Slack:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

Going viral on TikTok:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Trending via Instagram:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Just landed via Messenger:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Just shared via WeChat:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Going bananas on TikTok:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Shared recently on TikTok:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

2 months ago

0

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who needs pheromones when the irresistible aroma of barbecue is wafting through the air, beckoning us all like a sizzling siren song 🍖🔥 Whether you're drawn in by the smoky allure of ribs on the grill or the tantalizing scent of burgers charbroiling, one thing's for sure – BBQ always knows how to flirt with our senses! 😋 #GrillAndChill

always, attractive, barbecue, cooking, dating, food, forget, humor, pheromones, scent, smells

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

0

2 months ago

another, avocado, ball, different, disappointment, frustration, gift, humor, kill, makers, put, sarcasm, surprise, toy, wooden, wooden ball
I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

0

2 months ago

band, bands, fashion, gap, generational, generational gap, humor, i, kid, music, new, nostalgia, old, old people, people, shirt, shirts, trend
“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

0

3 months ago

away, distance, enticing, escape, far, far away, galaxy, humor, sci-fi, sound, space, star, Star Wars, starting, wars
I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

0

2 months ago

alarm, always, bedtime, before, best, humor, i, laziness, minutes, morning, procrastination, sleep, sleeping
Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

0

2 months ago

focus, fun, humor, i, quit, summer, vacation
My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

0

2 months ago

am, bed, furniture, humor, i, IKEA, self-deprecation, sleep, unstable

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Twitch this month:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

55 shares on Discord this month:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

Maybe in another universe, I punched him in the face instead of staying quiet.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Googling symptoms until you cry.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,380

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

If you say “Excellent choice” after somebody selects a floor in an elevator, you can usually get a pity laugh.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Just landed via Instagram:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Just landed via Threads:

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

Breaking via X:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Breaking via Discord:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴