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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Live now on Slack:

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my train wreck of a life.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Just landed via Instagram:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Shared recently on Messenger:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

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Funny 1996 movie quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on TikTok:

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

Going viral on WeChat:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

Shared recently on Slack:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Just shared via Telegram:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Going viral on TikTok:

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Trending via Facebook:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Just shared via WeChat:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

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