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Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Introverts have fun too, we just don’t care if you know…

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

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17,246

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15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

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3,828

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Just landed via Messenger:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Making waves on Slack:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

Trending via Messenger:

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Spotted on X:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Shared recently on Telegram:

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Home » Funny 5-year Quotes

Funny 5-year quotes

New funny 5-year quotes 👇

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

0

1 month ago

5-year, 5-year plan, funny response, humor, i, movie, next, plan, procrastination, response, short-term, short-term plan, think, week

All funny 5-year quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

75 shares on X this month:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

79 shares on Slack this month:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

77 shares on Discord this month:

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

45 shares on X this month:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Just overheard someone describe their hike as “it was like mountain climbing, but flat”.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Happy new fear!

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Just landed via Facebook:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

Just landed via Twitch:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Spotted on Discord:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Just shared via X:

Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

Trending via YouTube:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

Spotted on YouTube:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Going viral on X:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Just shared via Facebook:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

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Funny 5-year quotes

New funny 5-year quotes 👇

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

All funny 5-year quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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