Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Twitter is cigarette for the eyes.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,310

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Just landed via Reddit:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Live now on Snapchat:

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

Going viral on TikTok:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

Making waves on X:

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

Just landed via Messenger:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Just shared via Twitch:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Just landed via Threads:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

Funny 5-year plan quotes

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All funny 5-year plan quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on YouTube this month:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

51 shares on Slack this month:

Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

12 shares on Discord this month:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

89 shares on X this month:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

72 shares on X this month:

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,427

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

Going viral on TikTok:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

Breaking via Pinterest:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Going viral on X:

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

Just shared via Telegram:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

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