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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2405 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,567

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,567

Updated

37 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

Making waves on Telegram:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Just shared via YouTube:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Just landed via Snapchat:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Going viral on Twitch:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

Making waves on Facebook:

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Shared recently on Discord:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2405 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,567

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,567

Updated

37 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Spotted on Slack:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Trending via X:

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Live now on WeChat:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Seen just now on Reddit:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Live now on X:

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

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