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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

You are the Monday of my life.

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15,753

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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3,304

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

January 1st always feels like a Sunday, regardless of what day it’s actually on.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

Making waves on Discord:

Everyone hates on Gollum but he had the right idea: become a hermit, collect jewels, swim naked in lakes and pools, occasionally hiss at people who try to make you go places.

Trending via Facebook:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Trending via Snapchat:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Going viral on TikTok:

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

Funny action scene quotes

New funny action scene quotes 👇

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

3 weeks ago

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All funny action scene quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on TikTok this month:

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

77 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

There’s a certain nothing about you.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Seen just now on Slack:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Spotted on Telegram:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Just shared via Slack:

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

Just shared via Facebook:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

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Funny action scene quotes

New funny action scene quotes 👇

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

All funny action scene quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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