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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

My recliner and I go way back.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Making waves on Snapchat:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Trending via Facebook:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Breaking via YouTube:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Just landed via YouTube:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Just shared via X:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Going viral on TikTok:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

Trending via Discord:

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

Spreading quickly via X:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

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Funny after school quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,464

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Just landed via Threads:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Just shared via Slack:

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Reported on WeChat:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

Making waves on X:

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

Breaking via Facebook:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

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