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You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

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They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

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Is this art or trash?

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Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

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Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

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I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

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According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

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Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

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I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

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I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Updated

Dec 23, 2025

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Making waves on Instagram:

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

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Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

Just shared via TikTok:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Making waves on Facebook:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Trending via Snapchat:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

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Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Trending via Instagram:

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

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A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

Home » Funny Age Regression Quotes

Funny age regression quotes

New funny age regression quotes 👇

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

0

1 month ago

activity, age, age regression, both, childhood, friendship, fun, fun activity, humor, joking, me, playful, push, regression, same, swingset, time

All funny age regression quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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29 shares on WeChat this month:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

88 shares on Discord this month:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

94 shares on Instagram this month:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

90 shares on Discord this month:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

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Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

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This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

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Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

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No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

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When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

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Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

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Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

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Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

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I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

Just landed via Instagram:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

Just shared via Messenger:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Just shared via WeChat:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

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As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

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Funny age regression quotes

New funny age regression quotes 👇

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

All funny age regression quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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