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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I can shake your hand and forget your name simultaneously.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,683

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Just shared via Messenger:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Just shared via Facebook:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Just shared via Threads:

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

Making waves on Threads:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Shared recently on Discord:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Trending via YouTube:

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

Going viral on WeChat:

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

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🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Discord this month:

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

Crazy to think the average Zoomer male just works, watches porn, and plays video games. That’s it. That’s their whole life.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

29 shares on X this month:

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

53 shares on X this month:

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

I am deeply overwhelmed and yet incredibly bored at the same time.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,597

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Having an international law degree in this day and age must be what it feels like losing chess to a dog and getting robbed of $90,000 afterward.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Seen just now on Slack:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

Live now on Reddit:

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

Live now on Pinterest:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Going viral on Messenger:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

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