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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,949

Funny Quotes Topics

13,921

Funny Quotes Images

10,949

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

Just landed via Discord:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Just landed via YouTube:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Just shared via YouTube:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

Trending via X:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Seen just now on Discord:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

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Funny anti-capitalism quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,949

Funny Quotes Topics

13,921

Funny Quotes Images

10,949

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

Spotted on Slack:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Making waves on Telegram:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Seen just now on X:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Live now on TikTok:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Just shared via Threads:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Going viral on Messenger:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

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