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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Achieving AGI by reducing the intelligence of the average human rather than increasing the intelligence of AI.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Seen just now on Facebook:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

Spotted on WeChat:

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

Freshly posted on X:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Trending via Instagram:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Funny asteroid quotes

New funny asteroid quotes 👇

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

0

2 months ago

asteroid, back, bruce, Bruce Willis, fiction, humor, i, ID, irony, movie, movie reference, reference, saving, science, science fiction, stop, time, time travel, travel, willis

Someone from 🇸🇦 has recently shared this quote.

81 shares on Facebook this month.

All funny asteroid quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on TikTok this month:

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

84 shares on X this month:

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

35 shares on Slack this month:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Making waves on Slack:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Just landed via Twitch:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

Shared recently on Discord:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Just landed via TikTok:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Just shared via Reddit:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny asteroid quotes

New funny asteroid quotes 👇

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

All funny asteroid quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨