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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

Just shared via WeChat:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Trending via YouTube:

Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

Funny autobiography quotes

Funny autobiography quotes bring laughter and personality to life stories 📚🤣 They turn ordinary memories into hilarious moments, making self-reflection a joyride 🎢✨ Perfect for anyone who loves a good chuckle while looking back on their journey 🌟😄 Ready to see life’s ups and downs with a witty twist? Let’s dive into some side-splitting gems that prove truth really is stranger—and funnier—than fiction! 🎉📖

New funny autobiography quotes 👇

All funny autobiography quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Reddit this month:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

The person who invented bowling: “Oh, and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. Clown shoes.”

17 shares on Instagram this month:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,284

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Drilling for oil is well boring.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

A weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub sounds perfect right now.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Going viral on YouTube:

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Trending via Instagram:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Just landed via TikTok:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

Making waves on Instagram:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Making waves on Telegram:

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Just shared via Instagram:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

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