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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,366

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Breaking via Threads:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

Spotted on Threads:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Breaking via Threads:

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

Just landed via WeChat:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Shared recently on Slack:

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

Trending via Pinterest:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Trending via Discord:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Just landed via WeChat:

Guys, stop showering. I need the water for ChatGPT.

Trending via Slack:

Japanese Latina catgirl be like ña.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

52 shares on Slack this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

48 shares on Slack this month:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

17 shares on Slack this month:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,568

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

If I say I love you, it’s just the apocalypse talking.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

Freshly posted on Slack:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Breaking via YouTube:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Spotted on Threads:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

Going viral on X:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

Going viral on Messenger:

There are TV shows that only exist on the screens of girls’ houses you go to one time and never again.

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