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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,658

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Shared recently on Threads:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

Spotted on TikTok:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Live now on TikTok:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I love when the universe delivers receipts.

Going viral on Threads:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Therapy? I have Spotify.

Spotted on Instagram:

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

Breaking via WeChat:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Going viral on Discord:

Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

Funny bar culture quotes

Funny bar culture quotes 🍻 bring the lively spirit of nightlife to life with a blend of wit, laughs, and a splash of cheeky charm 🍹. Whether you’re a cocktail connoisseur 🍸 or a casual sipper 🍺, these playful sayings capture the buzz, camaraderie, and unforgettable moments that only a night out can deliver. Get ready to raise your glass and smile—because bar vibes never sounded this good! 🎉🥂

New funny bar culture quotes 👇

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

4 weeks ago

activity, bar, bar culture, bars, culture, exist, humor, monitoring, should, situation, social, social activity, sports, sports bar
Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

1 month ago

ahead, bar, bar culture, bartender, culture, drinks, humor, put, receipt, service, wet

All funny bar culture quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Instagram this month:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

13 shares on Discord this month:

Reincarnation, in this economy?

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

25 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

11 shares on Threads this month:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

40 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Salary week, but salary weak.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,626

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

Spotted on Reddit:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Just landed via Instagram:

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

Spotted on Facebook:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Trending via Telegram:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Just landed via Slack:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

Spotted on Slack:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Just landed via Slack:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

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