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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Seen just now on Slack:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Reported on WeChat:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Just shared via WeChat:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Just shared via Messenger:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I forgot how to panic. Help!

Seen just now on WeChat:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Live now on X:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,457

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on YouTube:

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

Live now on TikTok:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Trending via Messenger:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Trending via Instagram:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I try to shoot all of my garbage into outer space, but usually it just lands in my neighbor’s backyard.

Spotted on TikTok:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Just landed via Reddit:

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

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