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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Being social sucks all my energy.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,263

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Spotted on Instagram:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Going viral on Snapchat:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

Trending via Reddit:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Going viral on Telegram:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Spotted on YouTube:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Trending via Pinterest:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

38 shares on X this month:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

These aliens are taking forever.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when someone on a magazine cover stares at me while I eat.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You lose some, you lose some more.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,400

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Trending via WhatsApp:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Live now on Messenger:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

Making waves on Snapchat:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Making waves on Facebook:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Trending via Discord:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

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