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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

814 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,976

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,976

Updated

60 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Just landed via WeChat:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Live now on WhatsApp:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Just shared via Discord:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

814 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,976

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,976

Updated

60 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Reddit:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Going viral on Messenger:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Making waves on Messenger:

I would like even faster food.

Just landed via Discord:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Making waves on Telegram:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Just landed via Facebook:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Freshly posted on X:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

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